Ron and Hermione: A through Z
by ronandmion4ever
Summary: One drabble for every letter of the alphabet, featuring our favorite ship, Ron and Hermione!
1. Aftermath

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JK Rowling.

A/N: Like the summary said, its a series of drabbles, all based on a prompt starting with a different title. There not in chronilogical order, and most don't tie in with each other. The only one that I know for sure will, is N, which is a prequel to this chapter. Oh yes, Happy Valentines day!

Warnings: Just a bit of naughtiness in a few chapters. I don't think anyone will be offended,though, you never know.

Ron could not look at Hermione the same way. Everytime he looked at her, or even though of her, the image of her body, naked body, came into his mind. It's not like he never though he'd see her naked, oh he did, but he had expected that to happen on their wedding night. He couldn't even talk to her, not that she'd want to talk to him either. His voice came out all squeaky and nervous. And during breakfast all he could look at was her chest, imagining water running down her bare body. God, he needed a shower!

A/N: Read and review please!


	2. Bathing suits

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Title: Bathing suit

A/N: Sorry, last chapter I forgot to put a title Read and review.

Bathing suits were tricky things. In the summer before Fourth Year, Hermione didn't have to be embarrassed when she pulled on that frumpy one-piece. But now, right when she and Ron were at the brink of becoming a couple, she was a bit self-conscious. Especially since now it was no longer a one-piece but a bikini. She cursed her mother for buying it for her. Sighing, she pulled on the skimpy blue monstrosity onto her body and descended downstairs to the lake outside. She walked to the dock where Ron was waiting.

"You look beautiful Mione," Suddenly, her self-consciousness vanished.


	3. Cats

Title: Cats

"Bloody cat!" Ron yelled, groping blindly in the dark for his wand. "He attacked my leg!"

"Oh Ron, your just bitter cause he messed up our snogging," Hermione said, defending her pet.

"But he always comes while we're snogging. It's kinda hard to kiss your wife with a big furry lump between us. Aha!" Ron cried as his hands made contact with his wand. A bright light shone from Ron's wand and Crookshanks ran at of the room.

"So where were we?" Ron asked, his arms back around her waist.

"We were talking about animal cruelty and how it's wrong."

A/N: So sorry I didn't update yesterday, since I am trying to update every day. Last nnight I went to a Mardi Gras parade (With and 99.6 fever) and froze my butt off. When I got back home, my fever had increased 2 degrees, and I just felt horrible and didn't have the energy to update.


	4. Dogs

Disclaimer: Yet again not mine.

A/N: So, I decided to do something different, and this one is only dialogue.

Title: Dogs

"Mione, we need a dog."

"What? Just last night you attacked poor Crookshanks, and now you say we need another pet?"

"Crookshanks is only my pet by default. Besides, dogs are essential to a young boy's life. Don't we want Chris to grow up right?"

"You never had a dog."

"Right, and see what's wrong with me?"

"I see nothing wrong with you. Except for your unfair loathe of cats."

"Can we please leave that bloody cat out of this. It's not just me that wants the dog, anyway. Chris said he wants a dog."

"Ron, Chris is too young to talk."

A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers! Yes, I am feeling better, which stinks, sort of, cause I only get sick when we don't have school! R&R. Oh yeah, Chris is their newborn son, in case you didnt get that.


	5. Early

Disclaimer: The rights to Harry Potter were on the top of my Christmas list... the elves must have lost it or something, cause I never found it under my Christmas tree...

A/N: Sooo sorry for the wait! I was sick... I even had to miss all of the parades on Mardi Gras day (this Tuesday) and I didn;t feel well enough to write. Anyway, enjoy the chapter. It's Hermione just being Hermione.

Title: Early

"Morning Ron." Hermione mumbled, pulling away from her husband's embrace to glance at the clock. "Oh no! Oh no! Ron wake up!"

"What?" Ron asked.

"We're going to be late. I knew we should have set the alarm. Get up!" Hermione rambled as she scattered about the room, throwing on various articles of clothes. "It's Chris's first day of Hogwarts!"

"Wait, Hermione. It's only-" Ron started.

"Ron! Why aren't you getting dressed? I'll go get the kids, you get dressed!" Hermione ordered, charging out of the room.

"But Hermione, it's only six o'clock!" Ron yelled at Hermione's retreating form.

"Oops."


	6. Fighting

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Title: Fighting

"Ronald Billius Weasley! You are the biggest bloody prat I have ever met!" Hermione yelled, lifting the plastic spatula she had been cooking with.

"Watch your words dear," he chuckled smugly,

"You smarmy git!" She yelled, her spatula raised high in threat.

"And yet… you love me anyway,"

"Maybe I… don't!" she exclaimed, whacking him repeatedly with her spatula.

Later, Ginny and Harry entered the house to the sound of plastic hitting flesh. "What the?"

"Shh…Mummy and Daddy are fighting!" Chris yelled gleefully from his spot among the other children, watching in delight as his father begged for mercy.

A/N: Obviously fights are big things in the Weasley family, and the children gather around and watch. I don't know why Hermione's so mad… or why she uses a spatula as a weapon, when she has a wand. I only know that they have 8 children (Christopher, Damon, Gwen, Ephram, Iris, Lucas, Evelyn, and Lorelei) and they will be introduced (or at least mentioned) throughout the fic.


	7. Girls

Title: Girls

"Daddy, can talk to you?" Gwen asked, sitting down in his lap.

Ron put down his newspaper. "Of course. Now what's wrong?"

"Well… You see there's this boy, Tommy, and he's really cute. And Chris and Damon always make fun of us. They say he's my boyfriend. And… I want him to be boyfriend."

"What! I mean, erm… Gwen, why don't you discuss this with mummy." Ron said . His little girl with a boyfriend? No, no they're just friends. _You and Hermione were just friends. _Well, in that case, he and this Tommy were going to have a talk.

A/N: Introducing Daddy!Ron, flustered as ever when it comes to girls, and cute little Gwen… who's about 7 or 8. Oh yeah, _italics _are Ron's thoughts


	8. Hair

Disclaimer: No... Not mine!

A/N: So sorry my darlings. The play was last Thursday, and being lead in the play, I was bombarded with play things. And of course, I felt like reading last week and read about 8 books in 3 days. Three of those 8 were pretty long (Artemis Fowl 2, 3, and 4) Then I had fallen out of the habit of writing, and it took me until to day to get back in. Anywoo, here's the next chapter.

Title: Hair

"How do you make your hair smell so good?" Ron asked, his fingers sifting through her brown tresses.

"Shampoo," Hermione replied shortly.

"I know that, but it smells really nice. And the shampoo you usually use smells like apples. Today it smells all plumy."

"Ron, though I'm surprised that you know what my usual shampoo smells like and that you know what plum smells like, I know you too well. What do you want?"

"Nothing! And I'm shocked that-"

"Ron."

"Just a small party, miniscule really."

"How many people?"

"And might I add that your hair also-"

"Ron!"

"Only 500."


	9. Iris

Disclaimer: All belongs to JK Rowling.

Title: Iris

"She's so beautiful." Hermione said, tears brimming in her brown eyes. Ron looked adoringly at the two.

"And so small, " He muttered when he got to hold her. His whole hand fit around her finger.

"She's wonderful!"

"She has your eyes. Your beautiful brown eyes. You know the colored part of the eye is the iris. I never knew that… My mum used to love to tell me random facts." Ron prattled on, in awe of the baby he held in his hands.

"That's a perfect name."

"Facts?"

"No! Iris," She explained, looking up at her newborn daughter, "Iris."

A/N: I decided the children's name long before i wrote this fic, so i didn't name her Iris just so I could use her as a prompt. Not very humourus, but quite fluffy. They should have a fluff category, this story would be in it!


	10. July

Disclaimer: No, it is not mine.

A/N: I love this one!

Title: July

"I hate July! It's so hot and muggy, nothing like June." Ron mumbled, walking around the house, opening every window. "And how can anyone love July? You see little kids running around and there so happy it's finally summer, its July. Well it's not happy! Its so bloody hot that you could fry a bloody egg on the ground. I hate it!" He yelled, conjuring a block of ice.

"Oh I know sweetheart." Hermione cooed sympathetically from their bedroom. "But there's one good thing about July."

"Oh really? What?"

"Bathing suits," She replied walking out in an extremely skimpy one.

A/N: I guess she got over her dislike of bathing suits, he he he. Now, we must discuss a serious matter… reviewing. First of all, not to sound spoiled, I am very glad of the reviews I've been getting. Thank you DracoxHermioneztrueluv4eva, angelgirl, dancerrdw, quidditch7 NairobiDawn, connieewing, and Jessamyn Dreamer for all reviewing! But, I know there are more people reading this, and I would greatly appreciate it if you would review. Even if it's just a number, 1-10, on how you liked it. Thank you very much!


	11. Kiss

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JK Rowling.

Title: Kiss

"Hermione I l…l" Ron started. _Come Ron, just say it! It wasn't hard when you said it in the mirror. Or to Harry, or to Ginny, or to Pig, but why can't I say so to Hermione? I love her!_

"You?" Hermione asked.

"Erm… love this song, you?" Ron asked.

Hermione had forgotten that there had been music playing, moreover that they were slow dancing to this music. "It's wonderful. I can't understand a word the singer saying, for Merlin knows he's probably intoxicated and-"

Ron kissed her suddenly, stopping her long ramble and her doubt that he liked her.

A/N: _Italics _are Ron's thoughts. Not my favorite…. Set during Bill and Fleur's wedding. At the beginning he's trying to tell Hermione he loves her.


	12. LOVE

Disclaimer: Not mine. Merlin, these things get boring.

Title: L-O-V-E or La La, whichever you prefer.

"Ron!" Hermione yelled at her husband as he walked in the door to their spacious house.

"I swear it wasn't me. Harry made me-" Ron began guiltily, dropping his broomstick to the floor noisily.

"No not that! Though, maybe we'll talk about it later. I was alphabetizing the books in our library and I found the I-pod I bought Evelyn. Listen to this!"

She placed the headphones in his ears. "Oh yeah, L-O-V-E. I've heard it before. It's one of Evelyn's favorites."

"Its horrible and degrading and- and… ugh! It just makes me wanna-"

"La la?" Ron asked.

"What?"

"Nothing…"

A/N: Please don't take the criticisms of Ashlee Simpson and her songs to heart. That's Hermione's opinion. Also, I did the math and by the time Evelyn rolls around, I-pods may have been replaced by something else (this is set in about 2024... I did the math)


	13. Muggle

Disclaimer: Yes, it's mine. Really? Nope.

A/N:Sorry my dears. I know it's been over a week since I last updated, but I've been extremely busy... reading. Yes, lame I know, but I finally got to go to the public library this week and I got the fifth Artemis Fowl (which only took me three hours to read) and Inkspell (about 6 hours to read) And then I had to read two other book to get some points, and anyway... Here's chapter, um, I lost count, so here's the next chapter.

Title: Muglgle

"Look Hermione! It's one of the portable fellytones!" Ron shouted excitedly pointing to a young teenager's cell phone.

"Ron!" Hermione shrieked. " Have you forgotten our agreement?" Ron backed away slowly from the frightened girl.

"Maybe." Ron muttered.

"You were supposed to act normal, and not scare anyone. Why does even a simple shopping trip amaze you?"

"But muggles are fascinating!"

"I'm glad you think that way about-" Hermione stopped suddenly as she saw the girl with the phone talking to a man, a big, scary looking man, and pointing to Ron. "Run!"

"But I thought you wante-"

"Just run!"


	14. Naked

A/N: This is a prequel to Aftermath, the first chapter. Another all-diaglogue.

Title: Naked.

"Ahh! Ron! What the hell are you doing?"

"Sorry Hermione. I heard singing and I-I thought it was the, you know, wireless. So sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry, so-"

"Ron I don't care just get out!"

"I'm leaving. I'm- ahh!"

"What?"

"Nothing, I just- erm- hit my head… on the wall… I covered my eyes, and well."

"Ok, I believe you… now leave!"

"Oh, yeah, ok, erm bye Hermione. And, oh yeah, I, er, didn't cover my eyes just cause you caught me. I really wouldn't look at you… at least not without your permission. Well, I mean... er, night."

"Night."


	15. Outside

Disclaimer: NOOOO

A/N: So sorry! I've been extremely busy with LEAP testing, and I'm still not back on schedule, but here's the next chapter. It's a bit choppy, but it can only be 100 words.

Title: Outside

"Ephram's stuck in a tree!" Gwen yelled from the backyard. Ron and Hermione dropped what they where working on and ran outside.

" I don't see him." Hermione whispered worriedly.

"I don't either, but I do see several children watching us." Ron pointed to the house, where the children where laughing hysterically from behind the glass door.

"Very funny, now open the door or we'll blast it open!" Ron yelled. A safe, not-stuck-in-a-tree Ephram held up his hands. In them where their wands.

"Well it's not that bad," Hermione muttered. At that moment, thunder roared and a storm broke loose.


	16. Parties

Disclaimer: Everything is JK's.

A/N: So did you see the new covers for Deathly Hallows? I wasn't all that impressed... but oh well.

Title: Parties.

"So girls, we have an hour till dinner, anything you'd like to do?" Hermione asked.

"Erm," Lorelei started. She looked to the kitchen where her three older sisters were standing, watching her. "Makeovers."

" M-M-M- Makeovers?" Hermione sputtered. How was she to do makeovers? She rarely even wore makeup!

"Yeah," Lorelei and her seventeen guests said enthusiactally.

"Gwen, a little help?

"Sorry mum, gotta go." Gwen managed to say through her laughter.

"Iris? Evelyn?" She asked, but they were already out the door.

"Come on mummy! I want to look like a princess!"

Hermione took a deep breath and readided herself. "Ok, here goes."

A/N: Obviously Gwen, Iris, amd Evelyn told there baby sister Lorelei that makeovers where an essential part to every fifth birthday party (it is a birthday party, but I didn't find any good place to stick it in) and then stuck around to watch Hermione's face when Lorelei said that.


	17. Quidditch

Disclaimer: No, it is not mine.

A/N: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. They really make my day!

Title: Quidditch

"Aagghhh!" Hermione screamed clutching her stomach.

Ron squeezed her hand, his eyes focused on the Quidditch game." I know! Can't the Cannons just find the snitch? This is the longest game I've ever been too. I mean, I love Quidditch but-"

"No! Ron, I'm in lab-"

"He caught the Snitch! We've won!" Ron exclaimed. He looked at his wife to find Hermione yelling and hollering like the rest the million spectators. "Mione, I never knew you liked Quid-"

"If you so much as utter the word Quidditch again Ron I swear I will – aagghhh! Just get me to the hospital; I'm in labor!"


	18. Rambling

A/N: Sorry! I don't know what came over me. I mean to leave you people waiting while was off playing the Sims (that's what I've been doing since Saturday, before that I was punished from the computer) Can you ever forgive me? And don't worry chapter S and T are written, so I'll be updating tomorrow and Wednesday.

Title: Rambling

"Hermione, will you marry me?" Ron asked. Hermione stared speechlessly at the simple, yet beautiful ring he held in his hand. "I know we haven't be going out for that long but, we've been in love since like fourth year. Well, I mean, I was in love with you, I don't know about you. But I've loved you for so long and I really want you to say yes. Great, now I'm pressuring you and I sound like a fool cause I'm just rambling on and –"

"Of course!" Hermione said, finally regaining her voice. "Now shut up and kiss me."

A/N: happy belated Easter!


	19. Sleep

Disclaimer: Must I put it again? Not mine.

A/N: I got the last line from Smallville, only it was a completely different situation.

Title: Sleep

"Ron, wake up!" Harry yelled shaking his redheaded friend by the collar. He and Hermione had been trying to wake Ron up for the last ten minutes, but Ron was out cold.

"Here let me try this. Ron, mum's making blueberry muffins!" Ginny yelled, walking into the small bedroom. Ron didn't even stir. "Wow, that always got him up as a kid."

"I do," Ron muttered dreamily in his sleep. Suddenly, he pulled Hermione down and kissed her. He let go and then woke up.

"Why's everyone staring at me? And why does my mouth taste minty?" Ron asked.


	20. TV

A/N: A bit of backstory here. Hermione's muggleborn, so in some point in her life she must have watched a TV. And she probably wouldn't like the shows that come on today, but maybe she liked to pop in old movies and such and watch them. And maybe, she decided that she and her husband, Ron, needed one for the bedroom. See, it could work!

Title: TV

Lightning shot throughout the night sky, illuminating the room momentarily. Hermione woke up, shaking heavily.

Ron awoke also. "Mione, are you ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, I was always a tad frightened of thunderstorms, but nothing's wrong."

"Well… I'm up. You're up. It's," He glanced at the clock, "3:30. The kids aren't up. You thinking what I'm thinking?" he asked.

"I thinks so" Hermione said, running her tongue seductively over her bottom lip.

"Extreme Fishing!" Ron exclaimed, turning on the TV. "Extreme Fishing, we are the best! Extreme fishing, we put fishers to the test!" Ron sang off-keyly.

"I'm so glad we get a TV," Hermione muttered sarcastically.

"Me too!"

A/N: This story recently hit over 100 reviews! Wow! I would like to thank everyone who's reviewed from the bottom of my heart. Your reviews really make my day!


	21. Uterus

A/N: Sorry! But I had no time nor inspiration for this chapter. Finally I was able to scrap together this chapter (which I really don't like), but don't worry. Things should go back to normal and I should update daily, hopefully. This chapter is not nearly as naughty as the title may suggest.

Title: Uterus

"Mummy, what's a uterus?" Ephram asked. Hermione, nearly dropped the plate she was holding.

"W-W-Where'd you hear that?" Hermione asked

"Chris and Damon."

She placed her hands on her swollen stomach. "Well that's where the baby is whi-"

"But how's it get there? Did you eat it?"

"Erm…I'm sure Daddy would love to explain it to you. Ron get in here!"

"Yeah?" Ron asked.

"You and Ephram need to have a talk… about uteruses."

"But-"

"NOW!" He had learned the hard way that it's best not to aggravate a pregnant women, so he had no choice but to do just that.

A/N: She is pregnant for Iris at the time.

SIW I'll have to reply to you review here since you don't have a username. Anyway, Evelyn is the second to youngest out of 8 children and Ron and Hermione had here when they where 33. And don't forget she is twelve in this fic (which, how could you forget cause I never even told you!) so Ron and Hermione are 45 at the time of this story. Do the math (1980+45) and you get 2025, if I did that right.

And by the way, if any of you are confused as to how old the kids are and what order they come in and everything, I have a chart made for the age of both Hermione and Ron and the kids from every chapter. Just let me know and I can email/PM/whatever else it to you.


	22. Vacation

A/N: I'm in mourning right now so no happy author's note's until Wednesday at least.

Title: Vacation

Hermione dropped wearily onto her bed. Finally, a moment to herself. She couldn't wait until tomorrow when they would finally leave this wretched place. Who's idea was it to go to Disney World anyway?

"Mummy?" Lucas asked.

"Lucas, mummy's trying to sleep. Go to bed." Ron said, walking into the bedroom. When Lucas left Ron climbed into bed with Hermione.

"Stressful day, eh?"

"Yes, I'm exhausted."

"But it pays off in the end. I knew coming here would be great."

"You?"

"It was my idea to come, remember?"

Suddenly, Hermione was energized again. "Ron, I'd advise that you run, now."

A/N: Just so you don't worry, I'm not mourning for a person. I'm mourning for my favorite TV show that's series' finale tomorrow.


	23. Who, What, When, Where, or Why

A/N: Yeah, I was mourning Gilmore Girls. I seriously cried for an hour. I will miss that show so much. Sorry I didn't update sooner. But the good news is I won't have any homework to do this whole week! Finals start Thursday and end Tuesday, my last day, ever, of the school I go to now. I can't wait for summer!

Title: Who, What, When, Where, or Why? (Take your pick. Except for where, cause I accidentally left that out)

It all started when Hermione did the laundry. She was separating the whites from the colors, when suddenly she saw a pair of pink lacy knickers. Tears blurred her vision, and questions formed in Hermione's head. Why had Ron done this? When could've Ron done this? And with who? She knew she should be angry, but she could only feel sorrow.

But that all changed when Ron walked in from work. "Honey, I'm-" Hermione lunged at him, beating him with her fists.

"How could you?" Hermione yelled.

"What the hell are you doing with my underwear?" Gwen yelled.

"Erm… oops."

A/N: Fooled you didn't I? Like Ron could ever cheat on Hermione. Anyway, R&R please!


	24. XRated

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine, no matter how much I tell myself he is.

A/N: One of the most overused cliches ever, but it's X, what did you expect me to do? The title's a bit of a strech, but it's X.

Title: X-Rated

"Mione, your sure you want to do this?"

"I think so."

"We can wait until your ready."

"But I'll never be ready! It's now or never."

"Never? You mean if you don't do it today, then we won't ever-"

"Right. Now let's go."

"If your sure."

"I'm sure. Now where do I put my leg again?"

Harry, who had heard the whole conversation, burst into the room. Opposed to what he expected to see, he saw Ron and Hermione, fully clothed, each holding a broomstick.

"But… you were-oh." Harry muttered, figuring it out while his to best friends laughed hysterically.

A/N: OMG! Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End was awesome! I went see it on Thursday May 24 2007 at 8 PM, when I had 2 finals the next day!


	25. Yucky

Disclaimer: Nope. Never has been or will be.

A/N: Sorry! But what with graduation, Dance Review, and vacation (where I got attacked by sea gulls and crabs) I didn't really have time to write.

Warning: I cheated on this one. It's nearly 300 words long... But you've all been with me for over 20 chapters, you deserve a _few_ extra words. lol.

Title: Yucky

"Now kids, Mummy's been in the kitchen cooking, the Muggle way. I know the food might not taste all that good… ok, I might not even be edible, but Mummy's been working hard. Also, Mummy's pregnant, and we all know what happens when Mummy's pregnant." Chris, Damon, Gwen and Ephram all nodded, having been through those traumatic nine months before. "So when we go in there, are we going to say anything bad about Mummy's food?" Ron asked.

"No" the seven children mumbled in unison.

"Alright then, time for dinner." They moment the stepped into the dining room, a putrid sent hit their noses. They looked to the table to find their dinner; something that looked liked a mix between meatloaf, pizza, and seaweed.

"So how's it look?" Hermione asked brightly.

"Um…. Great mum." Gwen said, trying not to vomit.

"Yeah great," all the other children chorused, except for Lucas.

"Well Lucas, what do you think of mummy's cooking?" Ron asked.

The children hold their breath. Sure Lucas was only four, but surly he could remember what their father had just said.

"Yucky," Lucas giggled.

"What! I slave over a hot stove for hours making you spaghetti and you say yucky! I worked like a… like a…

"House elf?" Ron suggested humorously.

She glared viscously at him. "Oh well! Don't eat, order take out, what do I care? I only wanted to feed my seven children and….and…" she broke into tears at this point and ran away.

Ron sighed and got up to go console her. "What can I say?" he said to his awestruck children, "I told you not to say anything bad about her cooking."


	26. Zoo

A/N: Wow... I cannot believe it it's over... Wow. Now I'm not gonna give some story on how I never that it would be this long, because from the beginning I knew it would be only 26 chapters. Now I was afraid that I might not finish it, and leave you all, but I did it. I finished it! Though, I would never have been able to do this without my numerous reviews. Thanks to all my new reviewers, old reviewers, faithful reviewers, and one time reviewers, you all mean something to me. And also, I would have to give redit to where I got the idea. I have no idea who the author is, are what the storie's called, but one day I read an Avatar: The Last Airbender fanfiction about Sokka and Toph, and it was a series of one shots each with a prompt that began with a letter of the alphabet. I did not use any of the same prompts , however.

Now some notes on the story. It's kinda confusing, but if you read it carefully, I think you will get it. It's mainly all dialogue and at sometimes, it's between 8 people. The kids in this story ages are the following:

Chris: 20, Damon: 18, Gwen: 15, Ephram: 13, Iris: 10, Lucas: 8, Evelyn "Evy": 8, and Lorelei "Lori": 4

Did you notice something? Yeah, Evy and Lucas are twins. There was just no good time to put it into the story. There where alot of thing I really wanted to put into this story (I have developed each of the children sooo much in my head, but you don't get to see that) so I wish this story could be longer... but it can't... :(

A few last minute things: Remeber I have a spreadsheet of the children's age in each story and i would be willing to email it to anyone. And I would just like to thank all my reviewers one last time. I love you all.

Title: Zoo (as in, it's a _zoo _in the Weasley house.)

_Eee Eee_

"What the – Lori, what are you doing?"

_Eee Eee_

"Lori, stop that!"

"Huh, I'm not doing anything. Oh my God! What's that?"

"Where? Oh my God!"

"Kill it Evy! Kill it!"

"No don't kill it. It's just a simple bat. Here, let me."

"Don't listen to her Evy, kill it! Smash it! Oh my God, it's coming closer. Kill it Evy! Kill it!"

"Everybody just shut up."

"Gwen, we've got it-"

"Shut up Iris. We can handle this calmly like sophisticated young girls… AHHHH! It's climbing up my leg! Kill it Evy!"

"_Stupefy!"_

"God job Chris… you knocked out Gwen instead the bat."

"Who says I wasn't aiming for her?"

"Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!"

"Ephram, Lucas I'm sorry but you are no help at all."

"Stop it guys! You're destroying my room!"

"Evy, destroying your countless Weird Sisters figurines is just mild compensation for learning about one of –"

"Shut up Iris!"

"Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!"

"_Stupefy!"_

"Here Lucas, I'll hold him down you swing. Bugger he got through my fingers that little…"

"Excuse me, what did you say?"

"I said shut up Iris."

"Why you little- AHH!"

"Ugh, ermph, get off of me!"

"Girls, girls! Stop this right now."

"_Stupefy!"_

"Don't get into this Damon."

"EVERYONE FREEZE!" Ron yelled from the doorway. Everybody stopped what they where doing instantly. Lorelei, who was jumping on the top bunk, screaming kill it, stopped mid-kill and mid-jump, and fell down to the bed in a heap. Ephram and Lucas stopped mid-swing, their beater bats just inches away from Evelyn's prized possession – the very drumstick that one of the Weird Sisters had given her. Evelyn stopped mid-slap, Iris stopped mid-hair pull, and Damon who was attempting to pull Evelyn of Iris stopped mid-attempt. And Gwen, who was lying, frozen on the ground, well she literally froze.

"Now Chris, what the bloody hell is going on here?

"Well dad, the girls had a bat in their room and…."

"Say no more. Here kids watch and learn… _Stupefy!"_

"AHHHHH!!! It's on me Daddy! Kill it! Kill it! Ki-hil-hil-hil-ill it!"

"Lucas, Ephram stop it your destroying my room!"

_"Stupefy!"_

_"Stupefy!"_

"Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!"

"STOP ALL THIS FOOLISHNESS NOW!" Ron showing up at the door was one thing, but Hermione showing up in the doorway, her hair even bigger and bushy than in the day, her clothes tousled from sleep, that was a totally different thing. Even if she wasn't pregnant – which she wasn't at the time – she was one scary sight when she was mad, especially when it was three in the morning. The family wished they could be like Gwen, unconscious, and not have to face Hermione's wrath.

"Mione darling, there's a bat in the girls room and…. Well…"

"_Accio bat!" _The poor, abused bat landed in Hermione's outstretched hand. She walked out the room and out of the house, let the bat hang down from her hand, drop and take off, and then watched as it flew away.

The End.


End file.
